


love (fear)

by orphan_account



Series: Fear [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN - Fandom
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Brief Descripictions of Parent Abuse, M/M, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, there is some fluff though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:00:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26480812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Before they became symbols of greater causes, Wonwoo and Soonyoung were two teenagers in love.
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi
Series: Fear [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1925113
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26
Collections: South x Southwest: A Soonyoung/Wonwoo Prompt Fest





	love (fear)

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [blossompath](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blossompath/pseuds/blossompath) in the [soonwoo2020](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/soonwoo2020) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> Prompt: Warriors in fantasy au inspired by Fearless stage and this orchestra cover (https://youtu.be/rbTqnm_PYMc). Soonyoung and Wonwoo are comrades who would die for each other before they admit their feelings to themselves (not literally). Plot can be about epic battles or mundane training or political intrigue. Preferably with Seventeen assemble and side couples. :)
> 
> DO NOT INCLUDE: no limitations
> 
> Rating range: any rating!

The Jeons has a saying that runs over countless generations.

"Pulvis et lutum."

Wonwoo remembers hearing it for the first time, the way his mother leaned over his body, voice stripped from any emotions, her sharp eyes that in another life would have been warm brown pouring intelligence, just an empty shell that she wore like an armor even when speaking to her own child. 

Wonwoo was nine, maybe ten, and his mother's voice was nothing but rushed whispers in the late night. He couldn't understand, and like any other child when confronted with something they don't understand, he asked questions.

"What do you mean, mama?"

It may be his strongest memory, probably because for the first time in his life his mother's eyes actually saw him, not whatever ghost blinded her, but Wonwoo and no one else. For the flick of a second, his mother's gaze went soft and something like pity cracked through her walls.

"It means that you're cursed." He wouldn't have listened to her if they weren't so close, the closest they ever had in a lifetime, but her lips were nearly touching the cold skin of his cheeks and so her whispers felt like thundering in a silent night. "It means that whatever you touch will become gold. Shiny and valuable, but dead on the inside."

Wonwoo didn't cry. The Jeon patriarch had taught him that alphas should never cry, principally in front of omegas and so he did not. He bit the inside of his cheek, hard and closed his eyes in hope of waking up from what he saw as an agonizing nightmare.

His mother chuckled, a shallow sound that ringed more like a screech than anything else. He opened his eyes and found the woman sitting straight in the chair at the side of his bed as she had never left that position. 

"Good night, Wonwoo."

He never saw her again.

-

Ager is old. There are cracks in the streets that no matter how much cement they use to try and fill it, will slit open again in no time. The walls around them stretch from their border with Unda to where the oceans limit their space on the ground and they’re _old._ Magnificent, sure, a magic of brick, stone, wood, and any other thing that would keep them far from the outside world. 

Painted in garnet characters, the Jeon’s principle greeted any, wanted or unwanted, visitor.

**_Pulvis et lutum._ **

To think that once ago Ager was just a dejected colony of Unda is almost a laughing matter. Long before Jeon Haeyeon and Kwon Taeyeon set fire to the trail of misery Unda had spread around their lands, they were nothing more than a dumping place for whatever didn’t fit the perfect appearance Unda sustained. 

They were nothing but dust and dirt at the shoe soles of men they were told they could never become. And they would have stayed like that if-

“Soonyoung!” The teacher blinks her eyes, confused when her narrative is cut in half by Wonwoo’s sudden scream. He bows his head in a silent apology, trying to retain the smile blooming on his face. 

The teacher sighs, turning around to look for the person bearing the name Wonwoo had so desperately called. 

“I hope you at least know enough to take the test tomorrow, Sire.” She says, gathering her things with just one hand. “To be great you need to learn what made others inferiors, turn their weakness into your victory, and the only way to do this is by paying attention to my classes.”

He nods, but his mind is already on the boy hiding between the marble pillars, giggling to his hands. The teacher rolls her eyes, the scent of pine coming from her making Wonwoo’s nose itch. “I take that you’re also trying to run away from your duties, Kwon Master!” Her voice echoes through the enormous room, and soon, the giggles become fits of laughter and fill the air with boisterous youth. Even his teacher, whom Wonwoo has yet to remember the name, cracks a tiny smile on her stoic mask. 

Soonyoung hops down from the bench he had been hiding, dark hair tied in a ponytail with some strands still stubbornly falling over his eyes. Rightfully so, he is dressed just like Wonwoo, the dark loose-fitting blouse tucked inside dark trousers common for students of their rank, his shoes though, were nowhere to be seen, leaving him barefoot. 

“It’s just a break, Hyeyeon.” He says, smiling in a way that makes his eyes become thin lines. Wonwoo steals a glance at his teacher’s direction, Hyeyeon, he’s not surprised Soonyoung remembers her name, he had a better memory than Wonwoo. “We’ll be back here in one hour, two, tops. I promise.”

Before Wonwoo can vow for him - Soonyoung always kept his promises, always - Hyeyeon dismisses them with a wave of her hand. The crack on her face resembling more and more a smile.

Soonyoung beams at her, pulling Wonwoo by his hand, barely giving him time to get up before they dash by Hyeyeon to the pillars Soonyoung had used as a cover before. 

When he slows his pace a little, Soonyoung tug at his hand, making Wonwoo look at him. “Faster, I need to show you something.”

Wonwoo knows Soonyoung since he knows the world. Only a month apart from each other - time favored Soonyoung and that was something he liked to brag about whenever he had the chance - they grew up knit-tight, a swordsman and a king. Their future was written in the stars, he knew they were meant to be great, Soonyoung cleaning the path so Wonwoo could guide their pack to where they belonged. Wonwoo sometimes wished they could get to the grandiose times faster. But he let those thoughts for later, now he just picked up his pace, not wanting to be left behind.

They run past the guards, Soonyoung greeting through screams, they run past the stables, and Wonwoo blows a kiss to Bao, the ebony warmblood horse from Silvis that his father got him for his birthday. They run and run and then run some more. 

When Wonwoo thanks they will just spend the rest of the day running, Soonyoung halts. They stand in the borders of a forest with tall and long trees, Wonwoo is out of breath but Soonyoung seems like he could really run the whole world, even though there's sweat glistening on his temples. Wonwoo smiles, knocking with his knuckles at the side of Soonyoung’s head. The other boy whines, a tender smile tugging at the sides of his lips as he steps further into the forest.

He only notices that their hands are still intertwined when Soonyoung suddenly lets it go in order to push a fence made up of thick branches, showing a space small enough to only one person at once go crawling. He looks at Soonyoung like he had grown a second head, and wonders if he had actually gone bonkers this time.

“Is this some set up to kidnap me?” Wonwoo asks, not that he minds if Soonyoung is plotting to kidnap him, he must have a good reason and Wonwoo will just play along to whatever he wants to do but he would like a heads up anyway. Soonyoung rolls his eyes at him, crouching down on the ground and pulling Wonwoo by the cuffs of his blouse. He doesn’t protest, following the shift easily. 

“I’ll go first if you’re scared.” Soonyoung says, and if was any other person, Wonwoo would deny it wholeheartedly, taking it as a personal offense but it is just Soonyoung and so he shrugs, motioning to the small entrance with his head, “Go ahead, my good sir.”

He watches as the fence swallows Soonyoung’s body, his ears attuned to the branches rustle and the creaking of Soonyoung’s hands smashing dry leaves, so he can move if anything goes wrong. Wonwoo tries retaining the anxiety bubbling up inside his chest when he can’t see or hear the other anymore. It was something he could never completely shake it off, they were going to be alphas, they would carry responsibilities, they would create their own _families,_ and yet, Wonwoo still felt unease when Soonyoung wasn’t under his sight, close so Wonwoo could have the illusion he could touch him whenever he wanted. 

His reveries must have taken more time than he realized because Soonyoung’s head appears through the hole in the fence, worry clear as crystals on his eyes.

“Wonwoo?” Soonyoung’s voice is soft, the softest in the whole court, he’s also the shortest too, and Wonwoo wonders if he will be like Lee Jihoon, Unda’s Sub Commander, an alpha that what lacked in height compensated in physical strength. Soonyoung was taller than Jihoon and stronger than most of his age, it would make sense. “Can you stop that?”

The question snaps Wonwoo out of his trance, and he focuses his gaze on Soonyoung, “Stop what?”

“This weird stuff where you just stop and stare at me like you’re evaluating me.” He replies, tone ever so patient, “Dad does enough of it already.”

Wonwoo nods. They both knew _more_ than enough about uncomfortable stares. He waves his hand so Soonyoung can back draw and make space for him to do the process of crawling that could possibly take him to a kidnapper. When he finally goes through the fence, his hair has flimsy cobwebs sticking his bangs together and his clothes smell like dew and mud. He opens his mouth, ever so ready to complain about the stupid things Soonyoung indulged him to do when his breath catches upon his throat. 

Across the tight fence, Wonwoo finds himself standing on wild fresh green grass that curls around his ankles, the canopy of large leaves offering shade and protection against the raging rays of the sun, species of butterflies Wonwoo never expected to see in Ager flying over his head like in one of the drawings on his old childhood books. Soonyoung is sitting with his back to him, but Wonwoo can practically feel the smug smirk taking over his face.

“Cool, right?” Soonyoung asks when Wonwoo, just a little less bewildered, comes to sit by his side next to a circle of rocks. “I’ve been thinking about bringing you here for a while now. I’m happy you liked it.”

Wonwoo blushes. It’s been a long time since he blushed, the last time he was barely a child and harshly punished with a slap across each cheek three times by his father so he would know better than act like an omega. Now he thinks about hiding it, maybe covering it with his hands but a brief glance at Soonyoung shows him that the older is not much different from him. He looks down at his own hands, and folds them on his lap, lifting his head so his chin stands high and the color on his cheeks more than visible. 

Within the actions, something inside him stings as rebellion. Wonwoo feels a tad bit better than he felt his whole life. 

“Well, thanks for bringing me here.” He says, just so he can have something to do with himself.

Soonyoung nods, but he looks a bit off now, gaze out of focus as if he’s seeing and not seeing at the same time.

“Next year we are presenting,” Soonyoung says out of the blue, in an empty tone. “We’ll be full adult alphas. You’ll take your place as the next Commander.”

“And you will be by my side.” Wonwoo interrupts, wincing at the despair evident in his voice. “I’ll be your Commander and you’ll be mine… Won’t you?”

Soonyoung laughs, the remnants of hollowness leaving him as if they never been there. He looks at Wonwoo, the ribbon that held his strands together must have fallen at some point because now they frame his face like a crown of dark feathers. Something in Wonwoo growls with how free Soonyoung looks, it is primal and it makes him want. He’s not sure what, but it’s straw fire and soon he’s burning to the core. 

“We’re awfully possessive, aren’t we?” Soonyoung whispers and Wonwoo leans towards him, fingertips tingling at the idea of Soonyoung feeling possessive over _him._ “But you’re right. I’ll be your white knight in shining armor.”

Wonwoo smiles, they’re so close, Soonyoung's eyes are wide in alert and Wonwoo can feel his scattered breathing hitting his upper lip. He closes his eyes. 

“Promise me?”

A hummingbird can be heard not too far from them, Wonwoo hopes it brings good days with him.

“I promise you.”

Soonyoung’s mouth tastes like dark chocolate, coffee, and unbreakable promises. 

\- 

As it was expected, on the morning of his eighteenth birthday, Wonwoo presents as an alpha. 

He takes down four knights and manages to even hold a fight against his father, and although the pride on his father eyes fill him with something sweet he hadn’t remembered feeling before about any of his family’s members, he can’t help but let his mind wander to the Kwon mansion up in the hill. 

It’s been nearly two months since the last time he saw Soonyoung. He tried asking about him several times, but they always came to dead ends, _“He’s preparing for his presentation and you should be doing the same”._

But it’s been long since Soonyoung’s birthday, and some days since Wonwoo’s own, and there are still no signs of Soonyoung anywhere. He had gone as far as skipping one of his training at War Strategies along his grandfather to knock at the Kwon’s door. 

The Kwon’s patriarchy just assured him he shouldn’t worry about Soonyoung, but his voice was stone-cold, not loud, and prideful like it usually was when the topic was his grandson. Rather, he sounded _disappointed._

Wonwoo ignores it the best he can. Whatever is happening, he knows at some moment someone will tell him, he’s an alpha now, the minimum he deserves is trust from his people. Or at least that’s what he tries convincing himself. In true colors, Wonwoo just wants to see Soonyoung. He doesn’t want anyone else explaining things to him, he wants _Soonyoung_ to come and tell him what the hell is wrong and how they can fix it. Together, like they always did. 

But well, Soonyoung never comes and Wonwoo’s patience has an expiration date. 

If he stopped to think things through, Wonwoo would find weird how by he manages the gates and circle around the Kwon’s house without being caught, even less how he climbs the decrepit stairway that leads to Soonyoung’s bedroom without crashing to his imminent death. But he has his eyes on the prize, and oddity is the last thing on his mind.

Even there, Soonyoung is nowhere to be found. There’s an unknown scent hanging in the air, the spice of cinnamon entangling with the crisp of wild muscadine, it makes his head heavy, his senses going haywire. He wonders if it is Soonyoung’s scent, he doesn’t remember any other alpha smelling like this one though. 

Before he can give in to his insane impulses and do something really stupid - for instance, burrowing his face in one of Soonyoung’s pillows - the bedroom’s door swings open and not giving Wonwoo any time to panic, Soonyoung comes through. 

As soon as their eyes crash against each other, Wonwoo feels his knees weak, his heart slipping between his fingers. Somehow, he expected to see Soonyoung like always, playful and carefree but there’s a clear shift in the air around him, his eyes gained weight that wasn't there before, something ferocious that makes Wonwoo step back cautiously.

“Soonyoung?” He calls, voice low and for a moment he considers lowering his head, showing submission but Soonyoung shakes his head as if he can’t believe what he’s seeing. “What happened?”

“You shouldn’t be here.” 

A pack has a string that binds all of them together, one can leave the pack if so they want but the string won’t ever be broken, it will squeeze and pull until they give in and come back. Wonwoo, for how devoted he is to the Jeon Clan, knows that the string that binds them doesn't pull him.

“I should be wherever you are.” He says, voice low, head pending to the side. “You’re mine.”

The string around his heart grows tighter at each minute that silence dreads above their heads, and he can see on Soonyoung’s eyes that the other side doesn’t want him closer.

Soonyoung smiles, but it’s too sharp, not dripping with youth and mischief like it used to be but full of sarcastic cutting edges meant to hurt. Kill even, if Wonwoo doesn’t watch his words. “Things changed.” 

“Why?”

“I presented.” Soonyoung says, bitterness punctuating each word, “I’m an omega.”

Wonwoo has a faint recollection of his mother. He knows he looks a lot like her, everyone says so, but he can’t remember much beyond the basics, she had raven hair, sharp eyes, and hated him. 

She was also an omega, and although he always heard that omegas were fragile and soft by nature, his mother was the cruelest and coldest person he had ever met. Standing in front of Soonyoung, whose eyes resemble nothing the person who held his love with heedful hands, he wonders if he had learned all wrong. 

Maybe alphas weren’t made to protect omegas, maybe they were made to fear them. 

Still, “That it is not enough.”

Soonyoung is surprised, he knows it. Even now, seeing this side of the person he thought he knew the most about, Wonwoo still has his expressions carved in the back of his hand and he can see by the way Soonyoung’s chin trembles slightly that he hadn’t expected this. 

“I don’t care what you are.” For how things changed from a moment to another, Wonwoo finds it surprisingly easy to accept it. He means it. His arms will forever remain open for Soonyoung. “You’re much more important to me than any classification.”

Soonyoung steps are like the ones of a caged wild animal, his head slightly low, his teeth bared to Wonwoo. It takes a moment for him to understand. Soonyoung is _challenging_ him. 

“How _dare_ you?” He growls, “You know _nothing,_ don’t you? It’s not just us, Wonwoo. Is not just _you._ ”

“Grandp- The Kwon Patriarch is sending me to Unda in three days.” Soonyoung seethes, “So I can get _married.”_

“Unda? But you never left Ager, why would they marry you with someone from there?” Wonwoo asks, agitated, his mind a confused circle of thoughts that bite each other's ends. 

“Because I’m an _omega,_ ” Soonyoung singsongs, his smile edging predatory as he steps even closer, caging Wonwoo between the wall and him. “They will send me there because they’re ashamed of me.”

“No one told me anything.” Wonwoo realizes weakly, jumping when Soonyoung puts his hands at each side of his head. “I won’t let them do this to you. You have to trust me, Soonyoung.”

“You can’t do anything about it, Woo.” For the first time, Soonyoung’s smile gains a sad undertone and his fingers are careful at the side of Wonwoo’s face. After what seems an eternity, he whispers, sadness dripping from his eyes in the shape of tears. “You were never meant to be mine, were you?”

Wonwoo hands shake and before he can help it, they are closing around Soonyoung’s shirt in a tight hold, pulling him closer and when he speaks, the desperation makes him stutter, “I-I am. I'm yours. You can’t give up on me, Soonyoung. _You can’t._ ”

His father would probably think the scene is pathetic, but Wonwoo sweeps him out of his head, he had no space for him there at the moment. Soonyoung looks at him, and Wonwoo can see through him, resent, desolation, disappointment. They look like reflections of each other.

“Let me help, please.” It comes out in a breath, teary and nothing like an alpha should sound but it brings Soonyoung closer and it's enough to make him forget anything else he was taught about. 

“I trust you,” Soonyoung says with a certain fatality, nibbling at Wonwoo’s jaw, his grip digging on his hip bones. “I trust you more than I trust myself, Wonwoo.”

Soonyoung devours him whole, he takes whatever Wonwoo has to give him and somehow grows only hungrier each time Wonwoo comes with Soonyoung burrowed inside him. Soonyoung's fingers get imprinted on his skin, marked in purple on his neck, and in return Wonwoo's nails leave a trail of raw skin on his back. It doesn't feel good, and it doesn't look pretty, but it suits them just as well.

-

When Wonwoo wakes up, he’s alone, the other side of the bed is long cold and even though he is covered from head to toes, a shudder runs down his spine. 

There is a note at the nightstand and he reaches for it with a blurred vision. 

_I think I broke my promise. I’m sorry._

_Pulvis et lutum, Wonwoo._

Wonwoo looks down at his hands, they’re shaking, terribly so and as he sits for what seems minutes but shows in the sky that goes beyond that, they never stop. The string around his heart is so tight that his heart aches, drops of blood dripping from the cracks. 

Soonyoung left him. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there!
> 
> Geez, I wrote this pretty fast for my standards. First of all, thanks to the prompter for such an amazing prompt! I hope that you, in special, enjoy this mess.
> 
> All the cities here mentioned are of my imagination, but I didn't check if they exist in another fictional universe or real life, so that's on me.


End file.
